I don't know

Why the post under this one is messed up. I used the blogger image inserter and apparently did something wrong. I don't know. I've spent nearly a week composing and editing this mother. The links work but the images don't Bugger. I'll try to fix it. maybe having links and images right next to each other isn't a good thing. be back later

*Later. I got the images to show up, I think i need to do a little more editing. grr. stupid mistake I made. I guess I need more practice adding images.

I am going to a party tonight, I'm taking him with me if he still wants to go. I hope he does because I don't want to go alone.
Here's hoping your new year is prosperous and fun.

2005. The recap

I am going to list links to selected entries from the past year that sort of sum it up. Be sure to read the comments at the end of they entries. Most of them are more brilliant than the entries could ever be. I will also try to get a photo from each month, although some will not be from the right month, I didn’t archive my photos very well in the beginning.

I love my readers. Thanks for sticking around for yet another year, babies!
Enjoy.

January, I don’t remember much. Jan 2, 2005.

February, tommy lost his job and the store I was working in closed. Evilco moved me to another store where the working conditions were hellish and the management wanted to be satan, but didn't quite make the cut.

March, I was I was fed up with my job and I got my word.

April, I changed my name to Jamie and was attacked by a snake. I also did a lot of fighting with Tommy around that time. The next couple of months were really hard.


May, Tman and I split up.

June, I got the job I wanted.

July, my birthday, #38. No big whoop. Brin took some fairly decent photos of my tattoo collection. I met Mr. Egg.
I added the disclaimer to the header of my page.


August, was all about the Eggman.

September, I went to the happiest place on earth.


October, the fourth anniversary of Bruce’s departure from this plane.

November, I cut off over ten inches of my hair and donated it to locksoflove.org, who sent me a card saying "JJ made a difference in a child’s life." That felt good.

December, is now. I switched to blogger after three years at diaryland. I got a raise. Egg went to jail and got out five days later with all charges dropped.

I wonder what will happen this year.

anonymous said

"Hoping that he's not going to do this sort of thing AND get caught again is wishful thinking... You and I and he all know it's going to happen again until he gets a seriously long term jail sentence. Be strong, move on, are you going to go thru life waiting for him to do something substancial? It doesn't look like it's going to happen. He sounds like a criminal control freak, and very lazy, irresponsible, and many other negative qualities that have no business in a loving relationship. Sorry to sound so harsh, but that's what the reality of your situation is. Can you remember a Christmas as bad as your last one was? I and those who read your blog certainly couldn't... Move on to a clean, sober, mature, responsible man, you certainly deserve one of them."

Who said I was hoping he isn't going to do this sort of thing again or get caught? I know what I'm in. I know who he is. I'm not waiting for him to do a damn thing. I enjoy the time I spend with him far too much to try to put any real expectations on it. I know that there is no future and I'm ready for that. I have my own apartment, my own money and my own past, emotional problems and addictions. Do you think I am a dream to hang around with all the time? I'm not. I like me but there are a few people in this world that find me abrasive and controlling. Just ask Tommy, my ex.

I don't know who you are, but you have no idea what the reality of my situation is. I don't expect anyone to know the reality of my situation from reading the few sentences that I write here every day or so.

I can remember much worse xmases in my past. Homeless ones, strung out ones, getting beat ones and quite a few with my family or with significant others families that hated me and made no moves to hide it. Ones where I had to work a shitty job, ones where I had no food and was completely alone and didn't even have anyone to wish was out of jail on. Ones where I was sick, even one where I was in jail myself. Oh, how about the one in 2001 where my boyfriend had died 2 months earlier? The one last year where Tommy's mom died the previous August?

Xmas generally isn't a time of joy in my life.

Thanks for your concern, I know what you mean and believe that your intentions are good. Trust me, I'm not in this with my eyes closed. When it's time to move on, I will, with no regrets.

Oh, and one last thing...

"Move on to a clean, sober, mature, responsible man, you certainly deserve one of them."

Yeah, but does one of them deserve me?

Happy New Year.

I wonder how many people titled their post with those three words today. How many will tomorrow? The next day?

Those three words will have a major usage spike in the next few days and then trickle off to nothing after that with only a few people saying it once in a while in sort of an ironic way.
For example,
person 1 "I found a penny!"
person 2 (with a hint of sarcasm) "Well, Happy New Year."

Another long weekend. Monday off with pay. Oh, I got a raise! Yay!
Evilco had across the board cost of living increase so 40c more an hour in my little old bank account. A little bit fatter paycheck and a bigger tax refund next year.

I can't wait to get my tax refund this coming year. It should be a big one. I love my tax refund. I know some people who don't pay taxes. I don't understand that at all. First off, it's a punishable offense if they catch you and second, it's like a great little savings account you can't touch but once a year.
I have direct deposit so I will have the whole thing in my checking account one day when I wake up in February.

Good day at work today, we got 21 items up. I posted a Custo Barcelona shirt, and some pottery that I can't remember the name of right now. What else. I have to go check. Hold on.

Ok, I put up two unsorted lots of jewelry, I sell them by the pound and they go pretty good. The prices get higher and higher everytime I post one. Like I say in the auction, I don't know what's in them, I just need to get them out of there. They weigh between 7 and 10 lbs and sell between $30 and $60 a piece.
Plates. Some antique hand painted plates. Sometimes these sell high and sometimes they don't.

Hey, I have an idea, just click on my Ebay link and you can see it all yourself. It's over there -->

I am going to breezip's NYE party. This will be the first time I have gone out on NYE in quite a few years.

Also, I am thinking about my marriage. I got married in 1989 (I think) We were together for 6 years, got married and split up a year later. I never pursued a divorce and haven't had any contact with him at all.
Googling his name doesn't return anything. art sugessted that maybe Dennis had done the deed himself so I emailed the vital statistics bureau in the state we lived in and the nice man who answered my email told me there is a $33 dollar fee to search the records. Sheesh. All of a sudden I have lost interest in the whole thing.

All the pictures I took on my trip to and from the jail disappeared. Friggin gone. I don't understand how they disappear from the memory card. There were over thirty. One really nice self portrait.

Well, I should go. I'm meeting Egg later on.

Here is a thumbnail of my ear. Click for bigger (it's not too big).

just as i suspected

blogger crashes some browsers on mac. I knew it.

I did however get the code for redirect, now if I can just figure out where exactly to put the code, I can use it.

This is way too simple.

Ok, it's still more complex, but thats because you don't have to do every damn thing by hand.

I still feel terribly like a traitor to diaryland but I bet that feeling will pass!

Top reasons why I feel that blogger is better than diaryland:

1. It's totally free. Free rocks. I have been paying $30 a year for diaryland, which granted isn't a lot, but still, FREEE!
2. The button at the top of the page that says "next blog". I could push that thing for hours. Most of it is crap, but I have come across quite a few very good blogs
(I hate saying blog. This is still going to be my diary. A blog is something that has a direction. This is a diary, or journal, if diary is too femme for you).
3. The way the template looks. While they are customizable, I like the professional look of this and I think I'll keep it. For now.
4. The fact that they call the main control page the "dashboard". I'm driving, dammit! hehe!
5. Inserting photos is too bloody easy.
6. Spell checker.
7. Auto link inserter. too frickin easy.
8. Auto bold and auto italic. Sweet.
9. One word, PREVIEW. See what it looks like before you publish it. Dreamy.
10....

Nope, that's all I got for now.
I'm sure I'll think of something later.
byeee!

He's out. And already asking me for money.

Yay!
around 10 pm last night he calls me on the phone. "Hey, Coney, they are releasing me right now, I'll be home in a few. They dropped all the charges."

Nice. Five days of my vacation wasted. Five days of him in lock down in the unit where you have to lay in bed all day and have no priviliges, no tv, no nothing.

Five days of me chewing my lip and puking. Thanks.

What a waste of time.

Not that I'm not glad he's back. Cuz I am.

Thanks everyone for your kind comments and support over the past few days, Esp you, .

Mmmmmmwahhh! A big kiss for all of you and a group hug!! I can breathe again.

This feels more like home, now.

Ok, it took me a while but intelligent being that I am, I figured it out.
I am woman, see me code.

I want to figure out how to get my diaryland page to redirect here. I'd also like to get my diaryland buddy list on the side bar. This site really does have a lot of advantages to diaryland. I do feel like a traitor.

I'm sure I will lose readership. I don't know. I've tried to defect from dland before but it's never lasted.

I want my baby back home.

He's been in jail for five days now. He won't get a court date set until tomorrow, and tomorrow I go back to work, so I don't know if I will be able to get to his court. I would really love to see him.
The public defender called me earlier and I actually had more information about his case than they did.

It's so frustrating not knowing and not being able to help him in any way. Visiting hours are only on weekends. God, I hope he's not in there until next weekend.
If his bail isn't to incredibly high i will pay it. I mean, like if it's $50. I really cant afford anymore.
Payday is Thursday, rent due on the first, student loan, phone bill, sbcglobal.

It's all just so inconvenient. How is he going to pay his rent if he's in jail? His room and all of his stuff will be gone. I can't take all of his stuff here, I don't have room for my stuff here.

My stomach is in knots, I've chewed a hole in my lip, I'm smoking like a fiend and I just feel like crap.

Remember when you first...

This is way more complicated than diaryland.
But I remember when I started at dland, that was very hard, too. Yet I eventually figured it out.
I'd like to switch over to blogger, but i need to get in here and poke around a bit to see what I can really do.

I think I will pick a new template.

A-Z meme

A - Accent: Born and raised mostly in California. People tell me I sound like a hick sometimes. East coast slips out once in a while.

B - Breakfast Item: Coffee and a cigarette.

C - Chore you hate: Sending combined invoices.

D - Dad's Name: Unknown. Step-dads, in order of appearance: Leonard, Raymond, Stanley and one mom married, briefly, when I was an adult. I don't remember his name.

E - Essential everyday item: Computer, water, coffee, cigs.

F - Flavour ice cream: I don't like ice cream very much. It's too cold. If I do have it, any flavor is good, just skip the chunky kinds.

G - Gold or Silver? Both. I'm leaning toward gold as I get older.

H - Home town: Born in Oceanside, CA. Schooled in southern Oregon. Now I call San Francisco, CA home.

I - Insomnia: As long as i can remember. I used to roam around the house at night when I was a wee wetleg. I still have a hard time sleeping, usually getting about 4-5 hours a night.

J - Job Title: E-store Posting Clerk.

K - Kids: No. Don't like them much in large doses. Like to see them smile. Hate when they scream or have food on their faces. Ick.

L - Living arrangements: I live alone in a hotel.

M - Mom's birthplace: What is this a credit card application? She was born in California. I am third generation Cali native. Whoopee.

N - Number of significant others you've ever had: A few. Danny, Debbie, Dennis, Tommy, Pip, Xeno, Bruce, Tommy, now I've sort of got Eggbert.

O - Overnight hospital stays: Only while waiting on other people.

P - Phobia: Falling.

Q - Queer?: Very.

R - Religious Affiliation: None.

S - Siblings: Brother, 51, Sister, 45, Brother, 44, Me, 38, Brother, 32.

T - Time you wake up: My eyes generally snap open about 7am. Weather they need to or not.

U - Unnatural hair colours you've worn: It's been a rainbow up there. I had green liberty spikes at one point. Dark green and blue are my favorite.

V - Vegetable you refuse to eat: I love vegetables. I can't think of a single vegetable I won't eat. I don't like tomatoes, but those are technically fruit and even then I will eat them if they are cooked. There are other fruits I don't like to eat. Persimmons creep me out.

W - Worst habit: Drinking, smoking, being bossy and bitchy.

X - X-rays you've had: Teeth, of course. Collar bone. That was an icky one. seeing the picture of that bone broken in my body really shook me.

Y - Yummy: Sex with the Egg man. But thats not possible at this point. Right now? I'm having hot chocolate made with Milko Chocolate from Samoa, and soy milk and brandy.

Z - Zodiac sign: Cancer.